Today was another really shitty Friday….why do I keep having these?
I got kicked out of a demo because a customer thought I called her fat because when a customer says not to an ice cream sample because their “watching their weight” or are “on a diet” I say “I’m on Weight Watchers I totally understand!” and she misheard me and thought I was saying she needed Weight Watchers. So that kind of ruined my whole day and sent me into a mental meltdown that I still haven’t fully recovered from. I hate letting people down and I hate when someone tries to say I have poor customer service when I try so hard to be great at it…and I am! When there isn’t miscommunication.
I just want to sit on my ass and watch dumb sitcoms but all of the channels I get are about the Boston bomber thing, which is just even more fucking depressing shit.
Man, I think this is my first Saturday night alone since I ended my relationship. While I’ve been working fairly well through all of the emotions that come with a breakup, I have to admit that the 12-hour day really wore me down and I’m feeling the brunt of bitter and alone after the trudge home.
I keep repeating in my head something important that I’ve been told recently. It’s okay to mourn a relationship. All of the petty equations that have been made up about getting over relationships are crap. Those silly calculations usually only take into account the time you spent with that person and don’t touch on the future life that you may be mourning. When you’re seriously thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone you can’t help but have dreams about the things you’ll do together when older, the vacations you talk about taking, the places you want to eat, even the little things like the presents you were planning on buying them at the next big occasion.
All of those dreams get squashed and your future is suddenly shaken. Depending on your situation, your past may be too. And you’re left in the present where everyone and everything else is moving on their same paths while you’re stuck.
I’m trying really hard to move forward and it’s hard. I’m told that it takes about 6 months for people to get over this sort of thing….man, I don’t want it to take that long. Unfortunately, time is a large factor but I’m going to get over this shit and be done with it. I honestly feel I couldn’t start another relationship until I have fully moved past this, otherwise I’m just cray.
On good notes: My sidejob is taking off and I’m going to make some decent money in the next two months.
I also joined Weight Watchers at the end of March and am already down 5.2lbs.